This will keep you busy for a while....
CLICK HERE

See if you can catch the 100 falling apples.
If you do you have to be quick on the trigger.
Lock your mouse on the bowl and move da' bowl under the falling apples.
This one should improve your aged timing and eye sight.....Good luck.
(Put link here in case "Click Here" didn't work!)

http://www.ferryhalim.com/ori...

Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are.
Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps
beats working for old man Minch by a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before all of the places
are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in
bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like
to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is
smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to
slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split,
fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm
water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice,
cereal, eggs, bacon, etc. but kind of weak on chops,
potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other
regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always
sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their
food plus yours holds you til noon when you get fed
again.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We
go on "route marches", which the platoon sergeant
says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so,
it's not my place to tell him different. A "route
march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride
back in trucks. The country is nice but awful flat.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot.
The Captain is like the school board. Majors and
colonels just ride around and frown. They don't
bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I
keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.
The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and
don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the
Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie
there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even
load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat
training. You get to wrestle with them city boys.
I have to be real careful though, they break real
easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at
home.
I'm about the best they got in this except for that
Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him
once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only
5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds
dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join
before other fellers get onto this setup and come
stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Gayle
Proverbs 3:33 Then you shall walk confidently in the way, and your foot shall not stumble.

"Hello, Pastor Loveday?"

"Yes, this is."

"I'm calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr. Boes. Do you recognize the name?"

"Yes, he is a member of our congregation. How can I be of service?"

"Well, on last year's tax return, the doctor claimed that he made a sizable tax-deductible contribution to your church? Is it true?"

"Well, I'll have to have my bookkeeper verify this information for you. How much did Dr. Boes say he contributed?"

"Twenty five thousand dollars," answered Agent Smith. "Can you tell me if that's true?"
There is a long pause. "I'll tell you what," replied Pastor Loveday, "Call back tomorrow. I'm sure it will be."

If you forgive, you will be forgiven...that is the law!

You see, many of the symptoms of the drug interactions many seniors experience mirror Alzheimer's and similar conditions like Pick's disease. That's precisely what happened to Nancy Burns several years ago. The problem emerged when her daughter, Kelli, received several increasingly confused, slurred answering machine messages from Burns, asking what day-and even what time of day-it was. Kelli and her brother Brad took their mother to the emergency room where doctors ruled out a stroke as the cause of their mother's symptoms. Later, a neurologist diagnosed Nancy with Alzheimer's.

Luckily, Kelli insisted on a second opinion. This time, she, her brother, and her mother met with a physician who, like Dr. Gurwitz, took a close look at Nancy's daily medication list before jumping to a diagnosis. Sure enough, some of them had the potential to interact in ways that would lead to the confusion and slurring that had led the Burnses to seek help.

But if they hadn't insisted on that second opinion, chances are that rather than re- evaluating Nancy's current roster of medications, doctors would have added even more of them to her list. And who knows how many more problems could have emerged as a result.

The fact is, overmedication and misdiagnosis of drug interactions in the elderly is likely even more of an epidemic than Alzheimer's. Making sure you know which medications are most likely to cause problems is one of the best ways to prevent them from occurring in you or your loved ones.

In 2003, the Archives of Internal Medicine published a list of medications that were deemed "potentially inappropriate for use in older adults." There are over 75 drugs on that list (to review it, visit http://www.dcri.duke.edu/ccge...).

The Senility Prayer


God grant me the senility to forget
the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




Now that I'm "older"
(but refuse to grow up),
I'll share some things I've discovered:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together;
now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. . .

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Some days you're the dog;
some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here;
I sure could use a few . . .

Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

Accidents in the back seat cause...kids.

It's hard to make a comeback when
you haven't been anywhere.

The only time the world beats a path
to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes,
he would have put them on my knees.

When I'm finally holding all the cards,
why does everyone decide to play chess?

It's not hard to meet expenses. . .
they're everywhere.

The only difference between a rut
and a grave is the depth.

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the
hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something and
then wonder what I'm here after.

I am unable to remember if I have mailed this to you
or not and I doubt if you can either!

========

God does not require of us extraordinary things.

The Envelopes

The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words "open me first," and the other three are numbered 1 to 3.

He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: "These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third."

The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them.

Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast.

After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: "Blame me, your predecessor for every thing".

Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody's happy.

A few months later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, "Blame the government for everything".

It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved.

A month later the workers declare another strike. The manager goes to the third envelope and it reads, "Prepare 4 new envelopes".

1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it 'Dick Cheney'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Dick Cheney?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better?

GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do George W. Bush...you'll feel even better!

In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'

On a Septic Tank Truck :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

************************* *
At a Proctologist's door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'

************************* *
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'

************************* *
On another Plumber's truck:
'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber..'

************************* *
On a Church's Billboard:
'7 days without God makes one weak.'

************************* *
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
'Invite us to your next blowout.'

************************* *
At a Towing company:
'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'

************************* *
On an Electrician's truck:
'Let us remove your shorts.'

************************* *
In a Non-smoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'

************************* *
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push. Push. Push.'

************************* *
At an Optometrist's Office :
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'

************************* *
On a Taxidermist's window:
'We really know our stuff.'

************************* *
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

************************* *
At a Car Dealership:
'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

************************* *
Outside a Muffler Shop:
'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

************************* *
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

************************* *
At the Electric Company :
'We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.'

************************* *
In a Restaurant window :
'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'

************************* *
In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

************************* *
At a Propane Filling Station ,
'Thank heaven for little grills.'

************************* *
And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
'Best place in town to take a leak.'

It is the Isaiah 53:4-6 We had all gone astray like sheep, each following his own way; but the Lord laid upon him the guilt of us all.

The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long."

"Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship."

The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"
----------

Almighty God sends no trial without consolation.

  This should be fun and jog our memories. No repeats on the shows please.       Willey......................... KatzandJammer Kids Eddie.......................... Red Ryder

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archiv e/2008/07/31/underwater-a stonishments.aspx?source=nl" title="http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archiv e/2008/07/31/underwater-a stonishments.aspx?source=nl" target="_blank"http://articles.mercola.com/s...

This is VERY FAST, so be prepared. You only have 8 seconds for each question. Click the link and have fun.

Smartorstoopid
http://www.flashbynight.com/test/" title="http://www.flashbynight.com/test/" target="_blank"http://www.flashbynight.com/t...

Our so called representatives had better listen to messages like this!!
This brought me to tears, realizing what's happening to our Country now.

Click on below link and turn up the volume. (Ends in BDk)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKFKGrmsBDk" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKFKGrmsBDk" target="_blank"http://www.youtube.com/watch?...

> I DON'T MAKE 'EM UP, I JUST SEND 'EM.
>
> ========================= ========================= ========================= ==
3 Norwegians

Three Norwegians go down to Mexico to celebrate college
> >>> >> > graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that
> >>> >> > they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them
> >>> >> > can remember what they did the night before.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > The first one, Sven, is strapped in the electric chair, and is
> >>> >> > asked if he has any last words. He says, "I yust graduated
> >>> >> > from St. Olaf College in Northfield Minnesota and believe in the
> >>> >> > almighty
> >>> >> > power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They
> >>> >> > throw the switch and nothing happens.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for
> >>> >> > Sven's forgiveness, and release him.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > The second, Lars, is strapped in and gives his last words, "I
> >>> >> > yust graduated from the Concordia College in Moorhead Minnesota and
> >>> >> > I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of
> >>> >> > the innocent." They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > Again, they all immediately fall to their knees; beg for his
> >>> >> > forgiveness, and release him.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > The last one, Ole, is strapped in and says, "Vell, I'm from the
> >>> >> > University of Nort' Dakota in Grand Forks and yust graduated with a
> >>> >> > degree in Electical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya
> >>> >> > ain't
> >>> >> > gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug dis t'ing in.

>
Romans 4:20 [Abraham] did not doubt God's promise in unbelief; rather, he was

empowered by faith.

>

A MORNING PRAYER

You are ushering in another day
untouched and freshly new,
so here I come to ask You God
if You'll renew mine too ?

Forgive the many errors, that
I made yesterday, and let me try
again dear God, to walk closer
in Thy Way.

But Father,I am well aware
I can't make it on my own.
So take my hand and hold it tight
for I can't walk alone.

Thank you Lord

Earth is aging, War is raging,
Storms are brewing, Hatred stewing,
Fires are burning, Seas are churning.
Earthquakes rumbling, Stocks are tumbling,
Soldiers trenching, Mobs are lynching,
Satan working, Evil lurking.
Thieves are stealing, Men are killing,
Voters sighing, Leaders lying,
Oil is soaring, Price deploring.
Food costs spiking, Unions striking,
Disease reeling, AIDS is chilling,
People swearing, No one caring.
Armies forming, Mothers mourning,
Sad new rule, Bans God from school,
Signs are heeded, P rayer needed.
Lives forsaken, Babies taken,
Down and under, Lots of plunder,
Brothers fighting, Such backbiting.
Liberal creed, We do not need,
Evil prophet, None can stop it,
Man of sorrow, Holds tomorrow.
Congress stalling, Leaders brawling,
Tribulation, Hits our nation,
God doth warn, The coming storm.
Author: Marilyn Ferguson © 2008
~ Scripture ~
" I am about to pour out my wrath on you and spend my anger against you; I will judge you according to your conduct and repay you for all your detestable practices." Ezekiel 7:8
~ ~
" If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

wwwaopa.org/aircraft/articles/200 8/080812seamax.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3Imq8LpK5U" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3Imq8LpK5U" target="_blank"http://www.youtube.com/watch?...

(ends with K5U)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLA0VN2ggho" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLA0VN2ggho" target="_blank"http://www.youtube.com/watch?...

(Ends with ghho)

If the link don't work, put in the Title!

Looking For My Wallet And My Car Keys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObpcwobhlC0" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObpcwobhlC0" target="_blank"http://www.youtube.com/watch?...

(Ends with CO)

http://www.bostondynamics.com/content/sec.php?section=BigDog" title="http://www.bostondynamics.com/content/sec.php?section=BigDog" target="_blank"http://www.bostondynamics.com...
(ends with Dog)

Ever wanted to beat the tar out of your computer?  Do it here!!!

http://www.mostfungames.com/beat-up-your-pc.htm" title="http://www.mostfungames.com/beat-up-your-pc.htm" target="_blank"http://www.mostfungames.com/b...  

(ends with hm)

After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.

Carolyn had some loose ones, so we looked them up and put
them back into the correct Rx bottles.

Poison control Centers rely on such iformation. Especially
important if there are children in the family. As in, what did they swallow !

This Tablet Identification Guide can be very handy at times.

It is rimarily for U.S. use, but many 'established' medications are
used worldwide. Black-Market/Illegal pills & capsules usually have no,
or misleading, markings.

Just fll in the COLOR, SHAPE, and any markings on the tablet of capsule...

http://www.healthline.com/pillfinder?color=whit e&" title="http://www.healthline.com/pillfinder?color=whit e&" target="_blank"http://www.healthline.com/pil...;shape=round&marking= 54+532&name=
(Ends with name=)

This aircraft runs on four chainsaw motors. You can just imagine how much time, effort, skill and money these guys have put into this thing. Click on the site below.

http://users.skynet.be/fa926657/files/B29.wmv" title="http://users.skynet.be/fa926657/files/B29.wmv" target="_blank"http://users.skynet.be/fa9266...

Ends with wmv

Women are being warned that some lipsticks could contain lead. The warnings come in the wake of a U.S. ruling that a class action suit can proceed against luxury goods giant LVMH, the manufacturer of Dior Addict Positive Red lipstick, which has been found to contain lead.

The lipstick was among dozens of lipsticks found to contain lead when the U.S. group Campaign for Safe Cosmetics commissioned an independent laboratory to test lead levels in 33 brand-name lipsticks.

Sixty-one percent of the lipsticks tested had detectable lead levels. One-third of the lipsticks exceeded accepted U.S. levels of lead for products that are ingested. The Dior lipstick was found to contain more than twice as much lead as is allowed.

Hebrews 2:4 Now my just one lives by faith. But if he draws back, he will not please my soul.

All of the scientists on this list died or were injured in their pursuit of knowledge. Many of their sacrifices paved the way for some of the greatest discoveries and inventions known to mankind.

What can we learn from these explorers of years gone by? Gaining knowledge often comes with a price ... but without a few brave people willing to push the limits, society as we know it would not be the same.
1. Karl Scheele -- Died from tasting his discoveries

Scheele was a brilliant pharmaceutical chemist who discovered many chemical elements, including oxygen (though Joseph Priestley published his findings first), molybdenum, tungsten, manganese, and chlorine. Scheele had the habit of taste-testing his discoveries, and died of symptoms strongly resembling mercury poisoning.

2. Jean-Francois De Rozier -- First victim of an air crash

De Rozier was a teacher of physics and chemistry. He took the first manned free flight in a balloon, traveling at an altitude of 3,000 feet. Later, De Rozier planned a crossing of the English Channel from France to England, but after reaching 1,500 feet the balloon deflated, causing him to fall to his death.

3. Sir David Brewster -- Nearly blinded

Sir David was a Scottish inventor, scientist, and writer. He performed a chemical experiment in 1831, which nearly blinded him. While his vision did return, he was plagued with eye troubles until his death. Brewster is well known for having been the inventor of the kaleidoscope.

4. Elizabeth Ascheim -- Killed by X-Rays

Elizabeth Ascheim gave up her job as a bookkeeper to undertake studies in electrical science. Eventually she bought an x-ray machine, and she and her husband spent some years experimenting with it, using themselves as subjects. Unfortunately they did not realize the consequences of their lack of protection and Elizabeth died of an extremely widespread and violent cancer.

5. Alexander Bogdanov -- Killed himself with blood

Bogdanov was a Russian physician, philosopher, economist, science fiction writer, and revolutionary. In 1924, he began experiments with blood transfusion upon himself, but he did not test the health of the blood he was using. In 1928, Bogdanov took a transfusion of blood infected with malaria and tuberculosis, and died shortly after.

6. Robert Bunsen -- Blinded himself in one eye

Robert Bunsen is probably best known for having given his name to the bunsen burner, which he helped to popularize. He started out his scientific career in organic chemistry, and nearly died twice of arsenic poisoning. Shortly after that, he lost the sight in his right eye after an explosion of cacodyl cyanide.

7. Sir Humphrey Davy -- A catalog of disasters

Sir Humphrey Davy, a brilliant British chemist and inventor, was fired from his job at an apothecary because he caused too many explosions! When he eventually took up the field of chemistry, he had a habit of inhaling the various gasses he was dealing with. This bad habit led to his discovery of the anesthetic properties of nitrous oxide; it also led to him nearly killing himself on many occasions. The frequent poisonings left him an invalid for the remaining two decades of his life. During this time he also permanently damaged his eyes in a nitrogen trichloride explosion.

8. Michael Faraday -- Suffered chronic poisoning

Thanks to the injury to Sir Humphrey Davy's eyes, Faraday became an apprentice to him. He went on to improve on Davy's methods of electrolysis and to make important discoveries in the field of electromagnetics. But like Davy, Faraday also suffered damage to his eyes in a nitrogen chloride explosion. He spent the remainder of his life suffering chronic chemical poisoning.

9. Marie Curie (pictured above) -- Died of radiation exposure

In 1898, Curie and her husband, Pierre, discovered radium. She spent the remainder of her life performing radiation research and studying radiation therapy. Her constant exposure to radiation led to her contracting leukemia and she died in 1934.

10. Galileo Galilei -- Blinded himself

Galileo's work on the refinement of the telescope opened up the dark recesses of the universe for future generations, but also ruined his eyesight. He was fascinated with the sun and spent many hours staring at it, leading to extreme damage to his retinas. This was the most likely cause of his near blindness in the last four years of his life.

11. Louis Slotin -- Killed himself with an accidental fission reaction

Canadian born Slotin worked on the Manhattan project, helping to design the first nuclear bomb. In the process of his experimentation he accidentally dropped a sphere of beryllium on to a second sphere, causing a prompt critical reaction (the spheres were wrapped around a plutonium core). Other scientists in the room witnessed a "blue glow" of air ionization and felt a "heat wave." Slotin was rushed to hospital and died nine days later. The amount of radiation he was exposed to was equivalent to standing 4,800 feet away from an atomic bomb explosion

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> I DON'T MAKE 'EM UP, I JUST SEND 'EM.
>
> ========================= ========================= ========================= ==
3 Norwegians

Three Norwegians go down to Mexico to celebrate college
> >>> >> > graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that
> >>> >> > they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them
> >>> >> > can remember what they did the night before.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > The first one, Sven, is strapped in the electric chair, and is
> >>> >> > asked if he has any last words. He says, "I yust graduated
> >>> >> > from St. Olaf College in Northfield Minnesota and believe in the
> >>> >> > almighty
> >>> >> > power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They
> >>> >> > throw the switch and nothing happens.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for
> >>> >> > Sven's forgiveness, and release him.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > The second, Lars, is strapped in and gives his last words, "I
> >>> >> > yust graduated from the Concordia College in Moorhead Minnesota and
> >>> >> > I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of
> >>> >> > the innocent." They throw the switch and, again, nothing happens.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > Again, they all immediately fall to their knees; beg for his
> >>> >> > forgiveness, and release him.
> >>> >> >
> >>> >> > The last one, Ole, is strapped in and says, "Vell, I'm from the
> >>> >> > University of Nort' Dakota in Grand Forks and yust graduated with a
> >>> >> > degree in Electical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya
> >>> >> > ain't
> >>> >> > gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug dis t'ing in.

>
Romans 4:20 [Abraham] did not doubt God's promise in unbelief; rather, he was

empowered by faith

CLICK HERE....or copy and paste!!
This is really nice!!! Just click on an ink bottle!!

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=ZS43976949" title="http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=ZS43976949" target="_blank"http://www.jacquielawson.com/...

God is our home and our noisy chaotic mind keeps us ignorant of the deeper reality of God, as the ground of our being

>> The singer of this song is Dusty Even from South Dakota.
>> Listen to this song... A Song Written in
>> Iraq... IF THIS ISN'T A HUGE HIT, SOMETHING'S DEFINITELY >>WRONG!! This
>> soldier video is new and different. It is moving and heartwarming.
>> Enjoy and pass it on! The singer needs a recording contract when he
>> comes home! American Idol should contact him and he shouldn't have to
>> wait in line.
>>>
>>> http://www.flashdemo.net/gall...


He is the vine, we are the branches, branch's are not separate from the vine, but one with it...from the branch's perspective it is all vine.

I immediately sat down and began eating the first chewy, tasty, homemade brownie as I read the following story:

Two teenagers asked their father if they could go to the theater to watch a movie that all their friends had seen. After reading some reviews about the movie on the Internet, he denied their request. "Aw dad, why not?" they complained. "It's rated PG-13, and we're both older than thirteen!"

Dad replied: "Because that movie contains nudity and portrays
immorality as being normal and acceptable behavior."

"But dad, those are just very small parts of the movie! That's what our friends who've seen it have told us. The movie is two hours long and those scenes are just a few minutes of the total film! It's based on a true story, and good triumphs over evil, and there are other redeeming themes like courage and self-sacrifice. Even the movie review websites say that!"

"My answer is 'no,' and that is my final answer. You are welcome to stay home tonight, invite some of your friends over, and watch one of the good videos we have in our home collection. But you will not go and watch that film. End of discussion."

The two teenagers walked dejectedly into the family room and slumped down on the couch. As they sulked, they were surprised to hear the sounds of their father preparing something in the kitchen. They soon recognized the wonderful aroma of brownies baking in the oven, and one of the teenagers said to the other, "Dad must be feeling guilty, and now he's going to try to make it up to us with some fresh brownies. Maybe we can soften him with lots of praise when he brings them out to us and persuade him to let us go to that movie after all."

About that time I began eating the second brownie from the sandwich bag and wondered if there was some connection to the brownies I was eating and the brownies in the story. I kept reading ....

The teens were not disappointed. Soon their father appeared with a plate of warm brownies, which he offered to his kids. They each took one. Then their father said, "Before you eat, I want to tell you something: I love you both so much."

The teenagers smiled at each other with knowing glances. Dad was
softening.

"That is why I've made these brownies with the very best
ingredients. I've made them from scratch. Most of the ingredients are even organic. The best organic flour. The best free-range eggs. The best organic sugar. Premium Vanilla and chocolate."

The brownies looked mouthwatering, and the teens began to become a little impatient with their dad's long speech. "But I want to be perfectly honest with you. There is one ingredient I
added that is not usually found in brownies. I got that ingredient from our own back yard. But you needn't worry, because I only added the tiniest bit of that ingredient to your brownies. The amount of the portion is practically insignificant. So go ahead, take a bite and let me know what you think."

"Dad, would you mind telling us what that mystery ingredient is before we eat?"

"Why? The portion I added was so small. Just a teaspoonful. You won't even taste it."

"Come on, dad; just tell us what that ingredient is."

"Don't worry! It is organic, just like the other ingredients. "

"Dad!"

"Well, OK, if you insist. That secret ingredient is fresh organic...dog do."

I immediately stopped chewing that second brownie and I spit it out into the wastebasket by my desk. I continued reading, now fearful of the paragraphs that still remained. Both teens instantly dropped their brownies back on the plate and began inspecting their fingers with horror. "DAD! Why did you do that? You've tortured us by making us smell those brownies cooking for the last half hour, and now you tell us that you added dog do! We can't eat these brownies!"

"Why not? The amount of dog do is very small compared to the rest of the ingredients. It won't hurt you. It's been cooked right along with the other ingredients. You won't even taste it. It has the same consistency as the brownies. Go ahead and eat!"

"No, Dad..NEVER!"

"And that is the same reason I won't allow you to go watch that movie. You won't tolerate a little dog do in your brownies, so why should you tolerate a little immorality in your movies? We pray that God will not lead us into temptation, so how can we in good conscience entertain ourselves with something that will imprint a sinful image in our minds that will lead us into temptation long after we first see it?"

I discarded what remained of the second brownie as well as the entire untouched third brownie. What had been irresistible a minute go had become detestable. And only because of the very slim chance that what I was eating was slightly polluted. (Surely it wasn't..but I couldn't convince myself.)

Psalm 13:6 Let my heart rejoice in your salvation.

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Homeland Security Authorizes Laptop Searches At U.S. Borders
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Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.

For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.

Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.

Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simple chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream.

1. Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a non stick skillet on top of the stove, set
heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No
soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

2. Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all
broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up
mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg.
Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

3. Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with
your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to
frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar
and calories per serving.

4. Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place
them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will
keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

5. Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet
newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with
mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening
plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

6. Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you
can't see easily.

7. No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

8. Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with
cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the
squirrels won't come near it.

9. Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an
empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be
bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

10. Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a
clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when
wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and -- ta da! -- static
is gone.

11. Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot
water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your
ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

12. Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the
glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works
better than a cloth!

13. Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include
something inside , just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour
or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

14. Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper than
shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way
to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it
in your hair...

15. Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with
Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well. You
will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

16. Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it
"home," can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so,
especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets
or small children being harmed!

17. INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things
around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and
he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was
clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.)
He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over
to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh
material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like.
well,...the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through
it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh
that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's
there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and
static free -- that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy
when you take them out of the box, well t his stuff builds up on your
clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to
catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best
way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your
electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy
water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He
said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know
dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share!
Note: I went to my dryer & tested my screen by running water on it. The
water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in
the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water & a nylon brush & I
had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it the water ran right
Thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! That repairman knew
what he was talking about!

She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said,
"He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

=============

Do we take as much care of our soul as of our body?

The next night it was the Bajan's turn . In
the morning, he arrived for breakfast with hair all
disheveled, eyes all blood-shot. They said, 'Man,
what happened to you? You look awful!' He said,
'Man, that Daryl! He shakes the roof. I watched him
all night.'

The third night was the Jamaican's turn .
Frank was a big burly wrestler. The next morning he
came to breakfast bright-eyed and chipper. 'Good
morning,' he said. The others couldn't believe it!
They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night....

He sat up and watched me all night long.

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

"Heavenly Father,
We come before you today
To ask your forgiveness and
To seek your direction and guidance.

We know Your Word says,
"Woe to those who call evil good"
But that is exactly what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium
And reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and
Called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness
And called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn
and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists
And called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline
Our children and called it
Building self esteem.

We have abused power
And called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's
Possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air
With profanity and
Pornography and called it
Freedom of speech and expression.

We have ridiculed the time Honored values of our Forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, And know our hearts today; Cleanse us from every sin
And set us free.

Amen!"
The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked Out during the prayer in protest.

In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 Of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India , Africa and Korea .