Life's Rules

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like slinlkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed that since everyone has a camcorder no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Isaias 24:3 With desolation shalll the earth be laid waste, and it shall be utterly spoiled: For the Lord has spoken this word