Physical Exam

A man visits his doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"Oh about 165," the man replies.

The nurse puts him on the scale, which shows 187 lbs.

"Your height?", the nurse asks the man.

"Oh, about 6 feet," he says,

The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5'8".

Finally, she takes his blood pressure, and declares it very high.

"Well, of course it is", the man exclaims. "What did you expect? When I came in here I was tall and lanky. No, I'm short and fat!"

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CANNIBAL RESTAURANT

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

+ Tourist: $5

+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politicians?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of corruption, it takes all morning."