News Paper Meanings

Demographics of American Newspapers 
 
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country, but
don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their
statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the
country-if they could find the time-and if they  didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as  they can get a seat on
the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably  while
intoxicated, and who like their news as pictures and/or  cartoons.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but
need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there
is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that
they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are
handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal
aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided, of course, that they are
not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store.

12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and
need something in which to wrap it.

Let us go to Jesus with great confidence every time we sin.